Imagine, if you will, a dead person.

It can be a pristine dead person, like the kind you see in coffins at funerals. Or it could be a mangled corpse buzzing with flies on the ground, if that pleases you. If such things as that please you, however, I should be worried about the state of your soul. And your mind. And also your hygiene.

Anyway, let’s just go with the pristine-looking dead person in the coffin at the funeral, shall we? I have no tolerance for flies, after all.

Suppose that during the viewing you feed him a Rolo. You know, those candies with the fake chocolate around the super tough caramel center? Yeah. Those. Give it to him. Now imagine that he starts gnawing on it. I mean, who wouldn’t? It’s a Rolo, after all.

After getting through the chocolate, though, he gets to the caramel center and gives up. After all, he’s dead and really doesn’t have the energy to chew threw that kind of nonsense, does he?

Anyway, I thought that was an interesting concept to consider. Not sure what you should do with it. Maybe you should toss it. Or keep it close to your heart. Maybe you ought to ponder on it during still nights when the moon is five sevenths of the way between being half and full and the stars seem to have forgotten how to sing.

Maybe you should crumple it up and feed it to the zebra on the third floor of Crazy Town. I wouldn’t advise it, though. The sign on the door does read, “Don’t feed the zebra,” after all.

Maybe use it to stir crazy. What happens if you stir crazy with the idea of a pristine dead man chewing on a Rolo, then giving up when he gets to the caramel?

You might actually go sane as a result. Or maybe you’ll be able to speak to dead people, but not real dead people, just the ones who pretended to die, or who perhaps had never actually existed in the first place.

Anyway, I hope you’re all having a good life so far. And remember, if you die and someone feeds you a Rolo, don’t feel obligated to chew through the whole thing. You are dead, after all, and really don’t have the energy to spare for nonsense like that.

And that’s all there is to it.

The Astral Wanderer is brought to you by I don’t even know what anymore. Rolos, I guess? Anyway, feel free to share this with whatever kind of weirdos you have in your life who would enjoy this sort of thing. All proceeds go toward feeding Rolos to not-dead people. Probably.