The worst part about being stir crazy is not the stirring, nor the crazy, but the wondering how one stirs crazy.

Does one use a spoon? Or would a spork do better? I think a spork would be fantastic for stirring crazy, personally, but I could be wrong.

Maybe one uses a tongue. That would fit the bill, all right, but only if the bill is larger than your tongue. It would be if you’re a duck, I suppose. One does not commonly think of duck tongues in polite company, however.

Maybe a crazy stick. But then, would you even need a crazy stick to stir crazy? Is the crazy already crazy? Or is crazy sane?

Maybe crazy is the most sane thing there is. It’s the ones who stir it who go crazy, in which case, it may not matter what you stir it with, unless, of course, if your means of stirring crazy affects what brand of crazy stirs you.

Stir crazy with a spoon, and you get hysterical.

Stir crazy with a spork, and you see voices.

Stir crazy with a crazy stick, and you get the stick. Sorry.

Stir crazy with your tongue, and you mutter to yourself in public.

Stir crazy with a goat leg, and you see unicorns.

Stir crazy with a pencil, and you land yourself on the third floor of Crazy Town, right in front of the door with the sign that reads, “Don’t feed the zebra.”

Stir crazy with a gear shifter, and you drive yourself crazy. Haha.

Stir crazy with your soul, and you get more of them.

What are your thoughts? How do YOU stir crazy? Let me know in the comments! Also, please share the madness with all your friends. All proceeds go toward feeding the zebra on the third floor. Really.