Here, awful puns are chiseled into the eternal tablets of the internet. Enjoy. Or suffer. Whichever you prefer.

What do you call a missile that hits all the wrong targets?
A misguided missile.

What do you call a bear without ears?
A B.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.

What happens when you hold decks of cards in your open hand?
Span-decks!

If you have a weapon made of gelatin, do you have a congealed weapon?

If you put a dollar in a jar every time you pass gas, does that mean your fart jar is full of gas money?

What do you call an incontinent old man?
Depends…