If you know me, you’ll know that I hate the word “goal.” As to why, I’m not sure. It could be those silly planners they hand out in elementary school that tell you to set goals, but never really explain what goals should actually be. Perhaps it’s that I view goal setting as somehow missing the point. People who are fixated on their goals tend to miss the scenery, not to mention the very purpose for why they’ve set their goals in the first place.

Maybe I’m just lazy. I dunno.

For me, the term “New Year’s resolution” is just as abominable as the word “goal,” and there’s definitely a precedent for that.

In spite of how much I really despise these terms, I’m going to talk about how to make resolutions you’ll actually keep. It all starts with finding what you want in life.

The Problem with New Year’s Resolutions

First, let’s get to the core problem. New Year’s resolutions are stupid. Why?

There are a number of reasons. One is that you’re making the resolution because you feel you’re supposed to, not because you actually want to change anything. It’s seen as an obligation rather than an opportunity to work toward something you want.

Another reason could be you make a vague (and possibly unrealistic) goal that has no plan, only a goal marker set somewhere in the nebulous future. There’s no path to it, and it’s actually kind of abstract in its own right. You fixate on results rather than actual action.

Yet another reason why New Year’s resolutions are stupid is because they’ve become clichéd. This leads to a tendency to mindlessly set a goal without actually thinking about what you want out of life. They’re often the same goals too: lose weight, exercise more, save money, quit that annoying habit, etc.

Putting Resolve in Your Resolution

These reasons tend to have a common thread: that of obligation. When making these types of goals, we tend to set them with the feeling that we know that we’re supposed to do these things, but we don’t really want to.

In the end, there’s no resolve in your resolution, and that’s kind of a problem. Without resolve, you end up with “-tion,” which is literally a nominalization of absolutely nothing. It actually encompasses all that your resolve-less resolution means to you: nothing whatsoever.

To overcome this, you need to find something you actually care about. This most likely means going beyond the commonplace resolutions people are so used to setting and forgetting.

Finding What You Want

Start with this question: What do you want out of life?

Do you want to be happy? Well, everyone does. What makes you happy? If you don’t know, maybe your resolution should be to find out what that may be. It’s probably several things, so your plan to get to that goal will involve trying lots of new stuff, like painting, or woodworking, or telling bad jokes to the police, or getting arrested.

Actually, don’t try that last one. People who have been there pretty much agree that that is no way to find happiness.

If what you want out of life is to be at ease, why aren’t you at ease? Is it because you don’t have a six-figure income and a big house? Or is it because you’re so fixated on those things that you miss the simple pleasures of life that would actually help you be at ease? Maybe your resolution would involve pausing each day to notice something lovely. Or it may be to find a new job. I don’t know. It’s your life, not mine.

Maybe you want to overcome fear. Making a list of things you’re afraid to lose can help you set an actionable goal. That goal may involve letting go of some attachments, or trying new things, or doing the very things that scare you.

The point is to find something you actually want and to resolve to do what it takes to get it.

Focus on Action

Once you know what you want to do, it’s time to concretize it. An abstract goal helps no one. It’s just a wish, as they say. It’s nothing more than a vague daydream blowing away in the stiff breezes of everyday pressures. You need to make it concrete, and that means detailing specific actions you will take.

Here’s one example of making a goal concrete. I have a friend who set a goal to go without Netflix for a period of time. Now, on its own, that amounts to not doing something. There’s no action involved.

But she did something else too. She resolved to read every book she owns. Not sure if she actually finished that task, but it’s a great example of setting a concrete goal. In this case, it was sort of a dual-resolution centered on something she wanted to do: go without Netflix and read lots of books. They feed into each other quite well.

When asking yourself what you want in life, also ask yourself what you want to DO in life.

It doesn’t have to be big either. Your goal may be simple, like reading a book each month, or making something cool out of recyclable trash, or lobbing snowballs at squirrels. It could be grand too, like going to Ireland for a week, or furthering the cause of world peace, or ruling the galaxy.

Just make sure it’s something that involves real, visible action on your part.

Summary

So, to sum up, here is how to make a New Year’s resolution that you’ll actually keep:

• Find out what you care about
• Distill that into an objective
• Make a plan to do something

This isn’t to be limited to New Year’s Day either. In fact, if you don’t make a resolution at the start of the new year, that’s totally fine. However, if ever you feel a need for change, resolve to do what you need to in order to make those changes.

Then go and do it, because deep down, you actually want to.

Thoughts? Adverse reactions? What will you resolve to do? Let me know in the comments! Also, please share this with everyone. You can also support The Astral Wanderer on Patreon if you so choose. All proceeds go toward taking over the galaxy in order to further the cause of world peace. Really.