I’m going to try something new this week and just talk about whatever happens to come into my head. We’ll call it a freewriting exercise, though it’s not actually freewriting because I’m editing as I type.

It’s an interesting thing, a freewrite. You set your fingers to the keyboard (or perhaps your pen to paper, if you’re feeling old-fashioned) and then just let ideas flow. You let nothing get in the way of that flow—grammar, usage, legibility, common sense, unspoken societal rules that tell you that normal people don’t write about dogs castrating swine out in the depths of space, etc. It just comes, lands on the page, and sits there, existing, meaning little or nothing at all.

Sometimes, you find meaning in it. The words evolve into ideas, and you can’t help but develop those ideas. Your hands and fingers jump to the cause, like French soldiers who just found out they’re getting croissants as a prize if they win the battle.

Okay, so that wasn’t really appropriate at all. My apologies, but I can’t say it’s entirely unfair. I’d make fun of anyone else were it to occur to me to do so.

People tend to take themselves too seriously, and they take jokes against people they know nothing about even more so. It’s kind of silly, actually. People cry stuff like “Racism!” or “Sexism!” or “Ableism!” when they themselves do not fit whatever demographic they feel are being ridiculed or discriminated against. Meanwhile, those who do fit those demographics often do not care at all and may even make similar jokes themselves. Seriously. I have a black roommate right now (Hi Waldo!), and I’ve honestly never heard so many black jokes in my entire life.

Not to say that certain types of humor aren’t insensitive. My French joke was probably a tad out of line. But honestly, I think we take those types of things far too seriously. Which may be why I don’t hesitate to make jokes about people, even if I don’t always voice them. I like to spite people who take things too seriously.

Of course, some might make the argument that those kinds of jokes are discriminatory because there aren’t any jokes against your average middle-aged white male. Now, without pointing out the plethora of jokes that feature such individuals as their butts, I think it should be noted that the essence of humor is absurdity, and absurdity requires features salient enough to be exaggerated, and that the only reason why one wouldn’t poke fun at middle-aged white males as a group is because they are so monotone that there is simply nothing there to make jokes about.

In other words, they are immune to humor because they are too bland to be interesting.

And there I go, undermining the whole point by making a humorous jab at them. See? I make fun of anyone without regard to ethnicity, upbringing, religious background, dog ownership, etc.

Honestly though, I feel like one of the main problems with society today (and perhaps society in general throughout the ages) is we’ve come to take ourselves and each other far too seriously. And then we go an politicize the issues we think should be corrected instead of talking them out like reasonable adults. I firmly believe there is no surer way to ruin the public discourse on an issue than to make it political. That will probably be a discussion for another time though.

For now, it’s time to discuss the effects of wedgies on high school youth. It’s an uncomfortable topic, I know, but it needs to be brought up. Way, way up.

See what I did there? Well, you shouldn’t, because honestly, you really shouldn’t stare at someone who just got a wedgie. It’s rude.

And this is the point where you see just how completely  bonkers I can be. How completely bonkers can I be? Completely. That’s how.

And that is the soul of writing.

So, am I bonkers? Tell me in the comments! And also please share this post to spread the madness around. All proceeds go toward the National Fund for the Promulgation of Insanity. Really.