I dare you to look yourself in the eye.

Go on. Find a mirror. Stare yourself in the face for a good thirty seconds. Don’t break eye contact. Just look at yourself eye to eye. Here, I’ll even help you. Just so you don’t have to move, here’s a nice field of black so you can see your reflection in your screen:

Has it been thirty seconds? No? Go back and look yourself in the eye. Seriously.

Done? Okay, good. Now that wasn’t so hard was it?

Was it?

Dread of Oneself

When you looked yourself in the eye, what did you see? Did your reflection regard you with judgment? Kindness? Horror? A wry grin? Maybe you burst out laughing. I know I sometimes do.

If you cannot bring yourself to look yourself in the eye, then you’ve likely got problems. There may be some part of yourself you haven’t faced, and you don’t want to see the truth of it in your own eyes. The eyes are the window into the soul, after all, and if you can’t bear the sight of your own soul, then you have work to do.

Until you face those parts of yourself that you have heretofore refused to see, you will never be comfortable in your own company. And odds are, others won’t be either.

Honest Self Assessment

Now, you’ve probably heard the saying that you’re your own worst critic. It’s true, really. You know what you’d like to be. You know what standards you hold for yourself. And you also have a very clear view of your mistakes and flaws.

Some people take this knowledge and beat themselves up. Sometimes they blow it out of proportion. Others will take their flaws and shove them under a rug. And still others will face them, acknowledge them, and earnestly try to do better without getting down on themselves.

How do they manage such a thing? How do they stare down their demons without being overcome?

The Great Secret

The secret is they actually don’t. It crushes them just as it would crush anyone else.

At some point, you’ll have to face those bits of yourself that you cannot bear to see, and the experience will probably break you. But that’s where things get good. You see, that’s where you admit defeat.

You can no longer hide your problems, so you give up fighting to keep them secret.

You can no longer maintain your vainglorious illusions about yourself, so you give up trying to convince everyone (and yourself) that they’re true.

You can no longer keep fighting the truth, so you admit defeat and just accept it.

But defeat isn’t the end. It’s the beginning. And that may be the greatest secret of all.

Rising from the Ashes of Your Own Pride

Once you admit total defeat, that’s when the real miracle begins. You’ve already faced the worst in yourself, and it broke you. As such, you no longer have anything to fear from what people think of you. You already know the ugly bits of your conduct, so there is nothing that anyone can say about you that would shock you. You can either say in full honesty that they’re wrong, or you’ll be able to say, “Yeah, I know,” and move on.

But that’s not the end of it. Inasmuch as you have no more fear of who you are deep down inside, you now find yourself in a position to overcome your worst self. Pride is no longer a barrier. Everything that you need to do, every act and measure that you have shoved aside out of fear or self-will, is no longer a concern.

I’m talking about those little things that nag at the back of your mind. Remember those? Those things you secretly know you should do and haven’t? Your personal barriers against doing those things crumble and you find yourself doing them.

Over time, you overcome your demons and rise from the shambles of your vainglorious illusions.

Not a Lonely Endeavor

Throughout all of this, there is one ingredient still—that of divine intervention.

As you look at yourself, how do you know you aren’t blowing your flaws out of proportion?

How do you know you’re seeing the whole truth of your character? How can you tell that you’re not secretly sugar-coating things still?

It definitely helps to get an outside perspective. Friends can’t see inside your mind so much, but they can help you clarify and balance your own view of yourself. Friends can support you in your endeavors to face your demons and conquer them.

But above all else, consider the value of communing with an all-knowing god. By heaven’s power are demons cast out. It works the same way for your own being.

As you’re well aware, you’re not perfect. So you need someone who is.

It all begins with being honest with yourself, though.

It all begins with personal candor.

What are your thought? Agree? Think I’m full of steaming piles of demon crap? That’s gross, but let me know in the comments! Also, share this with your friends. All proceeds go toward repairing that mirror that SOMEONE broke by staring at it too long. Really.