30 Ways to Ruin a Conversation in Ten Words or Less

Here are a few (entirely subjective) ideas on how to ruin a conversation in ten words or less. Have fun!

  1. “Ten words or fewer.”
  2. “False.” Drive the point home with a haughty smile. Do not elaborate.
  3. “That reminds me of this one time on Friends…”
  4. *Piercing pterodactyl noises*
  5. “Trump…” Doesn’t matter what you say next. It’s likely to spoil the conversation somehow.
  6. “I like your ear hairs.”
  7. “So I have this business opportunity…”
  8. “Have you seen The Big Bang Theory?
  9. “Your hair smells nice.”
  10. Just sigh.
  11. “Oh. It’s you.” Scowl.
  12. “You’re smarter than you look.”
  13. “Stupid trees. Always in the way.”
  14. “Actually…”
  15. “Have you ever tried monkey brains?”
  16. “Sorry, I keep forgetting your name. What was it again?”
  17. “Sweet, squishy spaghetti.”
  18. “May I check your pulse? Please? PLEASE?”
  19. “Liberals”
  20. “Conservatives”
  21. “That’s right! Yeah! Good job!”
  22. Just roll your eyes.
  23. “Why did you roll your eyes at me?”
  24. “Hey, nice nostrils you got there.”
  25. “I have a knife.”
  26. “You should probably eat more salad.”
  27. “Yeah, but you only believe that because…”
  28. “Mmm, moist.”
  29. “Not funny. How dare you.”
  30. “Ever wonder why people look better without their skin on?”

The Astral Wanderer is brought to you by pure, unadulterated chaos. Revel in the mayhem. Rejoice in absurdity. Share this stupid post. You won’t regret it. Really.

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