This is a shout out to everyone who has managed to stay alive thus far.

Not everyone makes it as far as you, and that means you show promise. Granted, we don’t really have the same level of difficulty staying alive today as our ancestors did in the past, but that’s fine. It’s still an achievement. You have proved that you are a viable human being by having survived this long, and so you are likely to continue living for a good while yet.

In the medieval era, the average lifespan was lower only because infant mortality was much higher. If you lived to the age of 30, you’d likely have a good, long life ahead of you. As such, if you’ve made it that far, you’ve proven yourself likely to keep going.

In addition to all that, consider this: we’re all sitting on this giant rock that’s hurtling through space (while spinning!) at breakneck speed around a GIANT BLAZING FIREBALL OF DEATH that could easily destroy us all if it really wanted to. All it would have to do is reach out one fiery arm and POOF! Everyone’s dead. Toast. Less than that, in fact.

Mere ash drifting about on the solar wind. That’s what we’d be.

It’s a miracle we’re all still alive, really.

You haven’t gotten in any fatal wrecks. You haven’t been hit by a freight train. You haven’t been poisoned (to death, at least), cut into tiny pieces, had your head amputated, gotten eaten by dingoes or mauled by rabid zebras, nor even drowned in a puddle. The depths of the sea have not crushed the life out of you, nor have you fallen off a cliff or out of an airplane.

You haven’t been stabbed with a fatal wound.

If anyone has tried to take your life, they have all failed.

So congratulations for having survived your life so far! Keep on at it for a good while to come.

Contrary to what it may look like sometimes, we kinda like having you around.

Thoughts? Comments? Derisive accusations? Let me know in the comments! Also, you can support more content like this on Patreon. All proceeds go toward sending the sun fruit baskets in the hopes it might mind us enough to not reach out and incinerate us all by accident. Really.